An embarrassment of riches

That title can be taken two ways.  First is the three (!) scam emails I found in my spam today.  I love these as they give me something I can be nasty with when I write my posting.  The second way is the 9.5 million dollars these people are willing to send me in exchange for a modest sum of money and various bits of personal information.

This will be a long posting since I’m going to cover all three in this one blog.

The first one won’t take long. On September 27, in my posting “Now they’re using Benin” I mention the president of Benin, one Dr Yayi Boni had authorized a payment of a million  and a half to me for some reason.  Whatever I’m thinking about this latest version of this message I probably said better in that first posting.

The second one is very interesting.  It doesn’t mention a dollar amount and in fact appears to be some kind of warning.  Here’s the message:

Mr.Ibrahim Lamode <efcc@efcc.com>
    
19:56 (19 hours ago)
        
to undisclosed recipients

THE Economic And Financial Crime Commission (EFCC)
15A Awolowo Road
Ikoyi, Lagos
Lagos Nigeria,

From:Mr.Ibrahim Lamode,the chairman of The Economic And Financial
Crime Commission

Your Kind Attention needed:

This is to officially inform you, that it has come to our notice with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with some Impostors claiming to be official representatives locally and internationally.

Without taking much of your time, my name is Mr.Ibrahim Lamode , the chairman of the Economic And Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your
Contract/Inheritance/ compensation Payment.

Therefore we have contacted the Economic And Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) on your behalf, in other to avoid any further complication or deviation of your funds; you are advice to stop all
further contact with this shameless people who are trying to rip out money from you and damage the good name of our country.

Since we the Economic And Financial Crime Commission is fully involved in this transaction, you are assured that this 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens and other countries too from being rip off their hard earn money.

You are advice to contact the fadral ministry of fanice (FMF) stating your Contract/Inheritance/ compensation Funds value to them via email, to enable them with the remittance of your funds according to the way you want them to pay you.

HER NAME AND CONTACT ARE AS FOLLOW:
Name: Dr .Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala
Email:fmfdepartment101@gmail.com

Phone:+234-009-81-07-400

Kindly contact The Federal Ministry Of Finance (FMF) today, and send the below information to them to enable them with the remittance of your funds according to the way you want to receive your funds.

1.Full Name:
2.Home Address:
3.Direct Phone Number:
4.Your Inheritance/compensation sum value:
5.Amount which you lost previously:

Regards,
Mr.Ibrahim Lamode
EFCC chairman
Federal Republic of Nigeria

I love the line “you are advice to stop all further contact with this shameless people who are trying to rip out money from you and damage the good name of our country.”  Excuse me?  This is coming from Nigeria, the country whose calling code – 419 – has become synonymous with electronic scams.  Obviously the reason you’ve never received the promised millions in the past is you were dealing with scam artists, not authorized government scam artists – er, “agents”.  Yet it is sad how many people will fall for this.  IT’S STILL A SCAM PEOPLE, JUST WORDED A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY. And do not under any circumstances give them your personal information.

Then we have this one, worth $8,000,000 US:

MR. PAUL ROGERS <test@anyenjoy.com.cn>
    
11:11 (3 hours ago)
        
to undisclosed recipients

Attention: Beneficiary,

I have been informed by the CHEVRON/ LTD to anticipate your message as this office has been assigned to handle the payment of your grant donation prize and also to alert you that your previous mail was received here on this office desk and content clearly documented. I would advise you follow the instructions given to you and your Donation parcel will be sent to you fully sealed within the next 24hours. A cheque has been issued in your name and we have concluded the processing of all documents t hat will facilitate the clearance of the cheque in your Bank.

This documents includes the following:

1.DONATION CHEQUE VALUED THE SUM OF US$8,000,000.00. 2.DONATION CERTIFICATE FROM THE CHEVRON/TEXACO EXPLORATION AND PRODUCTIONCOMPANY LTD(CTEPC).3.CLEAR SOURCE OF FUNDS CERTIFICATES(C.S.F.C.) 4.LETTER OF AFFIDAVITS FROM THE NIGERIAN HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE, STATING THATTHE DONATION WAS RECEIVED LEGALLY FROM THE UNIVERSAL DONATION PROGRAMME, ANDDULY SIGNED BY THE LEGAL ATTORNEY TO THE ECOWAS.

These documents have been securely sealed and packed for security reasons which makes it impossible for anyone to view it until its been delivered to you. Find below our delivery options which you are required to choose the one that is most convenient to you to enable the delivery of your parcel to the address which is sent by you to this office.

I want you to indicate once more your mode of delivery for the purpose of documentation in the ECOWAS HEAD OFFICE.

DHL Cost of delivery
Mailing: US $100.00
Vat:US $70.00
Insurance:US $200.00
Total:370usd

FEDEX Cost of delivery
Mailing:US $100.00
VAT US $50.00
Insurance: US $200.00
Total:$US350.00

RHODEVILLE COURIER SERVICE Cost of delivery
Mailing: US$50.00
VAT US$20.00
Insurance: US$200.00
Total:$US270.00

All three options are 24hours delivery after shipment

NB: THE INSURANCE FEE (US$200:00) IS ABSOLUTELY COMPULSORY, AND MUST BEPAID BEFORE THE SHIPMENT OF YOUR PARCEL WHILE THE MAILING FEE SHOULD BEPAID TO THE DELIVERY AGENT THAT WILL DELIVER YOUR PARCEL TO YOUR DOORSTEP).

Due to the diplomatic content of your parcel, it will be illegal to send it without being insured as it will violate the federal delivery rules governing diplomatic parcel delivery. This means payment for the insurance fee must be made before the parcel is sent to avoid risk. This is because of some bad experience we had in the past.

We can not afford to re-issue your cheque if anything goes wrong. In this case payment for the insurance fee is absolutely compulsory, while the mailing fee should be paid to any of the above listed delivery company you choose at the point of delivery. Your prize is protected by a hardcover insurance policy, which makes it impossible to deduct any amount from the money before remittance.

This means that the above insurance charges cannot be deducted from the prize and hence must be provided by you before your parcel is shipped.

This is in accordance with section 13(1)(n) of the international gambling act as adopted in 1993 and amended on 3RD july 1996 by the constitutional assembly. This is to protect recipients and to avoid misappropriation of funds.

You have to contact PAYMENT STAFF AT THE ECOWAS HEAD OFFICE now with your information and choice of delivery company among the list above for the delivery of your package with this information bellow;

CONTROLLER: MIKE COKER
NAME: PAYMENT STAFF ECOWAS HEAD OFFICE
EMAIL ADRESS: mr.mikecoker@yahoo.cn
OFFICE NUMBER: +234 810 4796 014

1, Full Name………………………
2, Address of Residence:……………..
3, country from:……………………
4, Telephone Number:………………
5, Occupation……………….
6, Age:………………

Kindly give me a call immediately you receive this mail.

As is common recently, the email is sent from China.  And once again “undisclosed recipients” just means they’re hoping someone will bite and for 8 mil, I’m sure someone will.  Again, no reason given for this “grant prize”.  And why, if as claimed, the benefactor is “Chevron/Texaco”, why is a letter from the Nigerian High Court of Justice necessary.  Again, you have to pay the shipping costs of at least $270 and give up all kinds of information.  DON’T DO IT!!  You will be out those shipping fees; will have given up the kind of information that makes identity theft easy, and you ain’t never gonna see the 8 mil.

And that concludes today’s lesson.  Enjoy your day and remember to hug an artist – we need love too.

(If you really want to part with your money, I understand you can get a real deal on some oceanfront property outside Prince Albert Saskatchewan. [Check your map – Prince Albert is in the middle of the Canadian prairies about 1,000 miles from any salt water]) 🙂

Cat.

They’re using Benin now

I don’t check my email spam very often, which is why this is now six days out of date.  Not that it mattered, for I had no intention of doing anything about the following message. Well, other than write this posting that is.  Here’s the message:

Mohammed Khan test@quarkmail.com
    
21 Sep (6 days ago)
        
to undisclosed recipients

Attention: Dear,

This is instructions by our new President Dr.Boni Yayi to delivery your unclaimed fund of $1.6Million US Dollars to you by ATM CARD and it will come through (DHL) if you are still talking with any one about your unclaimed fund you are advised to stop right now because your fund has being issued by ATM DEBIT CARD and its deposited with (DHL) Courier Company Ltd now.

You are advice to send only (DHL) delivery charges and that is all no more yellow tag paper no more custom clearance again once you paid only (DHL) delivery fee which is $98 we will send out your ATM parcel and email you the tracking number.

If you want to see a proof then type http://www.dhl.com and then track this number (2282232573) (2282232175) (2282232186) (2282232422) and see that this one has being successful delivery to the receiver you are advise to send your delivery charges today through Money Gram or Western Union to this information below and once its received your ATM card will be sent out and the tracking number will be given to you for picking up your package.

Send delivery charges amount $98 to this name and address below and you are rest assured to receive your ATM CARD successfully like every other people.

Receivers name—– Edwin Nonso.
Country————–Benin Republic
Text Question ——Act
Text Answer ——-Urgent
Amount———–$98

Be inform that if you send your delivery charges today you will receive your tracking number in less than 45 minutes..

Best Regards.

Once again, the first telltale this is a scam is the “undisclosed recipients”.  If it were a serious message, it would have been sent to me personally, and not have used a shotgun approach.

Note that while they say I have an unclaimed fund of $1.6 million US, they make no mention of just how I managed to end up with such a large amount sitting in some African nation.  I suppose they assume I’ll be so overwhelmed by the amount (1.6 mil US is about 1.625 mil Canadian at the moment) that I won’t ask myself how this is possible.

A quick look at Google tells me that the president of the country is indeed Dr Boni Yayi.  However I doubt any amount of searching would then be able to tell me why the head of a country is so interested in shipping money out of the country to somewhere other than Switzerland or the Caymans.

I won’t go into the quality of the English, but if we can, for the moment, accept this came from some government agency (extremely doubtful) they would either speak better English or have access to better translators.

I like the fact they’re only asking for $98 to cover the cost of sending this “ATM CARD” to me by DHL.  However, since the president has ordered this (yeah, right) why wouldn’t they send it to their Canadian Embassy in a diplomatic pouch, then forward it on to me?  Just asking.  Or am I being too logical here?   I am?  Sorry (no I’m not) ☺

I’m afraid I must disappoint both President Yayi and Mr Edwin Nonso, because I’m not biting on your bait.  I have better uses for that ninety-eight dollars – like a pair of red 5 inch stilettos.

To my readers, enjoy your day.  If you’ve received this email, just delete it.  The only people who are going to end up with money are the senders of the email.  And don’t forget to hug an artist – we need love too.

Cat.