Enjoying summer safely

Summer is almost upon us which, if you live in a climate that has four seasons (five in you include road construction), means we’ll be shedding our bulky winter clothing. That also means keeping ourselves safe. I’m not an expert on personal safety, but having survived a stalker, I think I can offer some suggestions that may help.

One thing that can help you is your smartphone. It can be used for more than selfies or food photos. For example, if you are, or suspect you are, being followed by someone who may not have the best of intentions, take their picture. Now, I don’t mean when you’re walking down the street and someone is behind you, you should automatically snap a photo. They may have a legitimate reason for being there. But, if over the course of a couple or three days the same person seems to always be everywhere you are, then take a photo and don’t be subtle about it. You want them to know. If they have less than honourable designs upon you, that you have captured their image may discourage them.

Something else to consider, which works well in daylight. When you go out, you’re probably dressed attractively. Don’t be afraid to check out yourself in any window or reflective surface you pass. Not from any sense of vanity – girl, you know you’re lookin’ good – but it will give you a chance to see if there is someone creepy behind you. If you’re out at night, especially on a side street, pay attention to shadows. Try to walk on whichever side of the street is illuminated best by streetlights. Shadows can warn you if someone appears to be closing on you quickly and give you a chance to take whatever action you feel may be necessary. And where possible, walk facing traffic. Trust your instincts.

To borrow a line from “Hill Street Blues” – be careful out there.

Enjoy your summer.

Cat.

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Bring him to justice – coming home

I’ve waited a long time to write these words: I have received and confirmed information that George Flowers will be returning to Toronto on June 21 accompanied by a member of the Toronto Police Service. This has been a long time coming because his legal counsel exhausted every possible legal means to keep him in Jamaica.

I urge any of my followers and readers that if you have had sexual relations with this man, or know anyone who has, to come forward if you haven’t already done so. Contact Detective Sergeant Nancy Johnston at 55 Division, Toronto Police Service, at 416-808-5505. As Detective Johnston told me when I first started writing about this, you don’t need to have tested positive to have a valid complaint. Just the fact you had relations without knowing his status is enough.

Cat.

Bring him to justice – comment response

The following is a comment on “Bring him to justice – one step closer”:

Any word on this reprobate? This monster needs to be brought back to face justice. I understand the concern for his victims, but is it okay for him to get away with what he did and not have to pay in anyway? Does he have the right to live a free man in Jamaica while his victims have to live with what he did to them? Shouldn’t he pay for his crimes? If he gets away with what he has done, it sends the wrong message to others who may be infected with HIV and think they have the right to privacy. I think he needs to pay so it sends a loud and clear message to others.

Rather than respond directly to the writer, I felt it would be better to respond this way, for there is much to say on this.

This monster needs to be brought back to face justice. First, there is no further news on his return. I’ve been told through sources that his lawyer has filed suit against the Jamaican Minister of Justice claiming Flowers’s rights were violated by some action of the Minister. Until that case is heard, no further action on the extradition can happen. I know, I know. It doesn’t make me happy either.

I understand the concern for his victims, but is it okay for him to get away with what he did and not have to pay in anyway? No, it certainly isn’t okay for him to get away with what he did. But, look at it from the victim’s point of view. After their encounters with Flowers, many of these women were ostracised by their friends and in some cases, family. Some of the fortunate ones were able to either rebuild their lives or re-invent themselves with a new circle of friends who know nothing of the past. When (or if) this goes before a Canadian court, whoever Flowers retains to represent him will rip these carefully constructed lives to shreds, once again making these women victims.

Does he have the right to live a free man in Jamaica while his victims have to live with what he did to them? Shouldn’t he pay for his crimes? Well, he isn’t living as a “free man”. He is in a Kingston jail and as I understand it, he is in segregation so no, he doesn’t have the right. In the (extremely unlikely) case the Jamaican courts see fit to overturn the extradition order and release him, he will find his troubles have only started. Jamaica consistently ranks among the top of lists of the world’s most homophobic countries. Gays and trans people are frequently beaten and killed just for being who they are. If word gets out that Flowers, walking the streets of Kingston or any other Jamaican area, is HIV positive, or has AIDS, his taste of freedom may be brief indeed. And as this case has been covered in the Jamaican media he would find it difficult to conceal his identity.

If he gets away with what he has done, it sends the wrong message to others who may be infected with HIV and think they have the right to privacy. Back to what I wrote earlier, if he does face Canadian justice, and his lawyer does succeed in destroying the lives of the witnesses, what kind of message does it send then? Perhaps it would have the effect of keeping others from coming forward to authorities from fear of exposure in the media.

Cat.

We’re all stressed

Last night I watched a programme about the fatal collision Bruce/Caitlyn was involved in back in 2015. I can’t say when this actually aired, for I recorded it for one of those “I can’t sleep so let’s see what I’ve recorded” nights.

At one point, they had a segment with a psychotherapist – actually they had many segments with her discussing the situation – during which she said that part of the reason B/C hit the vehicles in front was that he was distracted by transitioning in view of the public. This comment caused me to exhaust my abusive vocabulary.

Granted, being part of the Kardashian circus places extra scrutiny on B/C during the transition (and that horrendous “I am Cait” didn’t help), but c’mon now – we all transition in public. We don’t go around having collisions with whatever vehicle we’re driving and some other object. Well, not unless we’re perhaps under the influence of some intoxicating liquid we don’t. Many if not most of us can’t afford to hide away in our dwelling place, only venturing out at night for bread and milk or, heavily disguised, to visit doctors, until we think we have transitioned enough to feel comfortable in daylight.

If the psychotherapist’s comment was intended to elicit sympathy for B/C, it may have worked with people not familiar with the reality, but for those of us actually going through it, it gave us a chance to exercise our command of gutter English. Does this psychotherapist not think that any person transitioning feels stress and strain? Does she not think that for some of us, doing what we do in public can be tantamount to an invitation to violence? Does she think that for people who aren’t celebrities it’s all sunshine and rainbows? Or is she only concerned with finding an excuse for why B/C was driving too fast for the conditions and consequently hit one vehicle and pushed it into oncoming traffic, then hit a second vehicle?

Listen, sweetheart, every person on this planet is under stress and strain of some kind. For many of those people the reason may not be obvious but for trans people, the reason can be highly visible. So please don’t use the fact B/C claims to be transgender to excuse his/her involvement in a fatal traffic collision.

Cat.

No Ben, just no

I try to avoid commenting on American politics on general principle because I have plenty of targets here in Ontario, but every once in a while comes a WTF moment that can’t be ignored. Such was the case earlier this month with the comments of Ben Carson. Something about immigrants coming to America in the holds of slave ships, working hard for less and dreaming of starting a new life for themselves. No Ben, just no. This is the sort of thing Kellyanne Conway would no doubt call “alternative history”.

Ben, these people were in the holds of slave ships because guess what? They were slaves! They were treated as cargo, not passengers. Once they arrived in America, they were property, not immigrants; not people who chose to come to America in hopes of a better life. They were ripped from their comfortable lives in various African countries and forcibly shipped to your fair shores. As property, they could be bought and sold, just as the plantation owner could buy and sell horses or cattle. And in many cases, the livestock was better treated than the slaves.

If they were dreaming of anything Ben, it wasn’t of making a better life for themselves in America. I’m just guessing here, but if they dreamt of anything, it was escaping, making contact with the Underground Railway and finding their way to Canada, where they could truly live as free people and make a better life.

Ben, I understand revisionist history is common in the administration of which you are part, where your president denies saying things he has been recorded as saying and other members deny speaking with the Russians despite proof to the contrary, but really, calling slaves “immigrants” is too much of a stretch. Immigrants indicates to me, at least, they came willingly, whereas slave ships did not carry willing, paying passengers. History texts are not printed in a looseleaf format for a reason: the past can’t be changed and is not subject to being altered at will by you or anyone else. . And “alternative history” is properly called “fiction”.

So, no Ben, just no.

Cat.

Raandom thoughts inspired by television

1 – Winters in the west can be especially nasty. Just ask anyone who lives in Manitoba or Minnesota if you doubt me. It wasn’t a fashion statement that the Winnipeg police wore buffalo hide coats in winter, it was because they were warm. Yet this week alone about 50 people have braved sub-zero temperatures (Fahrenheit, not Celsius) and walked across snow-covered field in hope of finding refuge in Canada. These people are, or were, all refugees living in the US, some of whom had already been granted the right to live there. They are taking this difficult trek and risking hypothermia because they are aware that if they presented themselves at the border crossing at Emerson Manitoba they may be refused entry. In this particular area, there is no physical barrier separating our two nations, so it is easy to gain entry to either country.

When asked, many of these refugees state they are afraid of what is happening in the States right now and don’t feel safe. And given this week’s shootings in Kansas and Washington state, I don’t blame them. The election of Donald Trump appears to have triggered a wave of xenophobia among many of his followers and emboldened them to the point these followers feel they can shoot or kill anyone who looks or dressed differently with, if not impunity, expectations their actions will be feted by others with the same mind set

Had these people tried approaching the customs house at Emerson, they would have been refused as I wrote above. There exists an agreement between the US and Canada that in essence says that refugees who arrive in one of these two countries cannot use that country as a jumping off point to the other. I’ve heard on the news this may be called a doctrine of “First Safe Country”. But, these people no longer feel America is a safe county, hence a two hour walk across snowy fields in temperatures as low as twenty below F – around -35 Celsius – to seek sanctuary in Canada.

On the news this morning I heard an interview with the Canadian Immigration Minister who stated both the RCMP and Canadian Border Security Agency have sufficient resources to deal with these arrivals. But rather than round these people up and ship them back to Minnesota, the Minister (and this makes me proud to be Canadian) has given the town of Emerson $30,000 to help with the costs of hosting these new arrivals. Further, the news reports that most of these refugees do qualify for Canadian residency. There may be charges after the applications are processed for entering Canada illegally, but I don’t think these people are worried about that too much. We the north – home of the free.

2 – Earlier in the week I watched a documentary on the massacre at Charlie Hebdo and the subsequent manhunt for those responsible. Just after this happened, I wrote a piece in which I voiced the view that we, journalists, bloggers and anybody who writes opinion pieces are also Charlie. Charlie Hebdo is a publication that relied heavily on satire and while we who also write may not resort to that particular form of writing, we sometimes venture into sarcasm or some other form, such as allegory, to make our point. As someone who is willing to put their point of view “out there” for others, we are bound to upset some of our readers. It may be said that if we’re not upsetting someone, we aren’t doing our jobs properly. In the gatherings after the massacre at Charlie Hebdo many people held signs reading “Je suis Charlie”. For people who write and post their views and opinions on various topics, and I include myself in that group, I think we could modify that sign to read “Nous somme Charlie”, for in our own way we may be just as controversial.

Cat.

Everyone needs a hero

Everyone needs a hero. Whether it be a fictional character such as Superman; an historical figure, or someone from our own lives, there is usually someone who inspires us enough they deserve the label “hero”. For me, there are five people I esteem enough to call heroes, whose actions and attitudes lift them beyond the everyday.

For me, the first of these is my best friend, someone who loves me without reservation. I won’t go into detail to preserve her privacy, but in her short forty-something years, she has survived much that would break lesser humans. And no – being my friend is not one of those things.

Another person is also a personal friend named Angelena Bonet. She has suffered so much in her life – devastating heartbreak; sexual assault as well as being beaten and left for dead. This amazing, strong woman has turned her misfortune to good. In her Facebook profile, she describes herself this way: Documentary Filmmaker, Singer/Songwriter, TV Host / Producer & Humanitarian.

Being trans, obviously I consider Caroline Cossey a hero. This lady has, over the years, broken so much new ground for the trans community it would be criminal to leave her off my list.

And there are a couple of Canadians I include on my list. The first of these is retired General Romeo LeBlanc. General Leblanc was in charge of the UN force in Rwanda. He did his best to stop the massacre but was handcuffed by unreasonable orders from the UN that prevented him from taking effective action. Still, he did what he was able.

Finally, just to show that as I’ve aged I haven’t lost my rebellious streak, I include Louis Riel. For those unfamiliar with the name, or are not versed in Canadian history, Louis Riel led the Northwest Rebellion in the late 1800’s that eventually led to Manitoba becoming a province of Canada. He was later elected to Parliament, but fled to the US to avoid prosecution. He eventually returned to take his seat in the House of Commons. Unfortunately he was arrested, tried and found guilty. He has the distinction of being the only sitting member of Parliament hung for treason for his role in the Rebellion. (And yes, I’m sure we can all think of a few politicians we’d like to see swinging from a gallows.)

As I said, everyone needs a hero. Why not share yours in the comments, along with the reasons you feel they are heroic. Be certain to get their permission before you use their names, please.

Cat.